


Lord and Wolf

by Selah



Category: Jrock, 己龍 | Kiryuu
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, Okami Sakai Mitsuki (己龍 | Kiryuu), Youkai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23419975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selah/pseuds/Selah
Summary: Mahiro knew the forest was forbidden, but no one would tell him why.
Relationships: Kurosaki Mahiro&Tokai Junji (己龍 | Kiryuu), Kurosaki Mahiro/Sakai Mitsuki (己龍 | Kiryuu)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4
Collections: VK Yaoi 2020 Challenges





	Lord and Wolf

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Noapyon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noapyon/gifts).



> Written for the fandom appreciation challenge on VKYaoi on Dreamwidth. To avoid spoilers, folklore note at the end.
> 
> special dedication to AutomationAir and Noapyon, who sold me on this pairing oh those long years ago when I was a younger fan uncertain if I even had an in-band pairing for these dragons. ;)

When Mahiro had first come to this distant part of the empire, he had been full of nothing but resentment. Months of travel only to find himself in a glorified village with the sorriest excuse for a castle he had ever seen. A leaky roof, drafts in all the wrong places, and a crumbling foundation, it really was a disgrace. Taking rooms at the inn hadn't been much better – after just one night he had been ready to turn around and march right back to the capital, demand a better posting. The only thing that had stopped him had been his childhood friend insisting he just needed to give the people time.

And in fairness, Junji hadn't been wrong. The man had long had a gift for getting people to do what he wanted while making them think it had been their own idea and it was a blessing to Mahiro. Junji convinced a family to give up their modest home, moving in with a neighboring family for the months of restoration of the castle, so Mahiro could have a place to stay that wasn't the inn. And while the work had indeed taken the rest of the year, Junji had managed to rotate the workers enough that the castle was restored and updated without a single farmer losing out on the crops they needed to grow to keep their own families fed and housed. Mahiro wasn't sure how it had been done, but he also didn't much care; the castle had been successfully made adequate to his needs and station and the villages (he still couldn't think of it as anything but a small village) had managed the following winter with only a couple of deaths.

Now it was spring again. Mahiro sat beside an open window, trying to focus on his reports and failing. He owed the emperor a report on his progress, but his focus kept slipping, his eyes drifting to the forest beyond the local farms.

“Junji?”

“Hmm?”

“When's the last time you went hunting?”

“Eh?”

His best friend actually looked up from his own paperwork at that, giving Mahiro a curious look. Not that he could blame him – Mahiro had never been much interested in sport hunting. He knew how to draw a bow and was passably good at hitting a stationary target, but the thought of actually killing another living thing didn't entirely sit right with him. He could eat meat and fish easily enough, but actually killing the animal himself? No, that wasn't for him. And Junji knew that.

“I was thinking about the forest. What other excuse am I going to use?”

“Actually, the locals say the forest is forbidden.”

“Eh? Since when?”

“For as long as anyone can remember,” Junji replied with a casual shrug. “That's what the townspeople say, that entering the forest is forbidden except for travel by the one road. A couple of kids admitted in hushed tones that they'd heard it said if you strayed more than five paces from the road, the forest would eat you, but no one could name anyone they knew to whom that had happened. There's shrines at each end so travelers can make offerings to appease the forest spirits when they travel, but from what I could gather, most of the locals here would rather just avoid it completely. Merchants travel through all the time without trouble and still the locals won't try it.”

“Strange,” Mahiro murmured, glancing out towards the forest again.

He didn't know why, but something about the forest … he could feel it calling to him. Local taboos usually had reasonable roots somewhere; it would be foolish to disregard the warnings out of hand. And yet neither could he simply ignore his own growing curiosity. Maybe a short ride of the road would be enough to quiet that inner voice? It was worth a try, he supposed.

* * *

Silence. The sort of peacefulness one could only find when one was properly alone in nature.

All right, not quite silence. Birds twittered, insects buzzed, and the wing still rustled in the trees. But despite the best attempts of everyone from Junji to the stableboy to try to accompany him, Mahiro was quite alone, save for his patient gelding. He was some hours from the village now, and he felt more at peace than he could ever remember. It was wonderful.

After everything Junji had told him of the forest, Mahiro had not expected to run into another shrine in the not quite middle of the forest. Unlike the one at which he had stopped before entering the supposedly dangerous (perhaps haunted) forest, this one was little more than a stone kamidana with equally small gate, sat against an especially old tree. The sacred rope on the tree looked due to be replaced, but someone had clearly come by to sweep away fallen leaves and the offering looked fresh, not even a day old. Strange; he hadn't passed anyone coming back from leaving an offering here. Perhaps someone traveling through? Or from the other side of the forest?

Not wanting to risk offending the resident kami, Mahiro searched out the small bento he had brought with him.

“It's not much,” he murmured as he added an onigiri to the offerings. “Next time I'll bring something more.”

Maybe it was his imagination, but he thought the sigh of the wind sounded different. Wistful and accepting of his promise. And perhaps this was far enough to explore for one day. Offering his respects to the little shrine, Mahiro returned to his horse. He was quite some distance from home and it wouldn't do to get back too late. Next time he would start earlier in the day, give himself time to explore further.

* * *

“Mahi….”

“I told you, I'll be fine,” Mahiro insisted, giving his best friend a firm look. “Nothing happened last time. Nothing's going to happen this time.”

“You can't be sure of that,” Junji countered with a frown of his own. “If something happens to you….”

“There's been no evidence of bandits going back since long before we got here last year. And just because _you_ always best me on the training ground doesn't mean I can't defend myself.”

“But –.”

“Junji. I appreciate the concern, I do, but you know how little time to myself I get these days.”

A simple statement of truth that was enough to put an end to the conversation, at least for the moment. Though his posting was at one of the more remote ends of the empire, Mahiro was still responsible for this sparsely populated corner of it and that did seem to mean a rather endless stream of reports and responsibilities. Talking to people, solving problems for others. For such a small village, and the only village under his direct domain, he was continually surprised by how much of his time was taken up by the needs of others. Finding time for himself, just himself, no one else, was harder than he would have thought, riding into this backwater village twelve months ago. And to be honest, Mahiro fully expected he and Junji would have this same conversation again the next time he wanted a solo ride, just as they had the _last_ time he had decided to ride out into the forest alone. And the time before that. And the time before _that_.

Once beyond the edge of the village, Mahiro moderated his horse's pace to a more leisurely walk. Other than following the road back to the little roadside shrine, he had no particular destination in mind and half the day to reach it. The weather was agreeable, the road empty, and once the forest closed around him, Mahiro felt his heart calm. As it always did when he was able to escape like this. Even if he couldn't explain it, something about this forest brought him a sense of peace.

Mahiro was surprised to reach the little stone shrine and find no offerings at all. In all his previous trips, though he had never seen another person come this far, always there had been some type of offering here. Bowl of rice, a cup of sake, some flowers, _something_. The shrine had been recently swept clean of fallen leaves and incense ash, so the absence felt even more jarring.

“Mahiro….”

Jerking up straight, Mahiro's hand reflexively went to his sword hilt. And yet the forest around him remained quite empty, as always. Trees and birds and insects, but nothing more, not even a squirrel. It must have been his imagination.

“Mahiro….”

Once might have been just his mind playing tricks on him, but twice? Jumping to his feet, he pulled his sword's saya from his obi as he turned around in a tight circle.

“Who's there?” he demanded, inwardly pleased at the lack of tremor in his voice.

“You won't need that.”

Mahiro turned back around, startled to see a person standing beside the ancient tree and its small shrine. Someone not entirely human with that golden hair, the tongue of blue flame floating over his head. Fox? But in the stories, foxes who took human form were always women and this person was very much not. Nor did he look like the images Mahiro had seen of tengu or yamabushi. How curious.

“I apologize, I didn't mean to startle you,” the stranger said with a polite bow. “It's been so long now….”

“So long?” Mahiro repeated, not yet ready to let down his guard with this person or spirit or whatever he was.

“Almost a month since your last visit. I feared I had somehow offended you,” the stranger said with another bow. “Humans can be so easily offended sometimes….”

“What? Wait … this shrine is … yours?”

“No, not … like that. The shrine is for the whole forest, all the spirits, but especially ones like my friend here,” the youkai said, resting a hand on the tree's trunk. “But Mitsuo-sama rarely speaks to outsiders anymore. I'm called Mitsuki, by the way.”

“I … nice to meet you, I suppose,” Mahiro mumbled, feeling a little stupid. “You've … been watching me?”

“Mm. Mitsuo-sama doesn't have much interest in mochi cakes,” Mitsuki said with a small smile. “Thank you for always bringing something sweet, but I don't suppose you have any meat with you?”

“Ah, um, no, not this time,” he confessed with a little shake of his head.

“Shame,” Mitsuki replied with a little wistful sigh.

“… should I have?”

“It's fine, I can always hunt later,” the youkai said as he sat down, a careful distance from Mahiro. 

For a moment, Mahiro felt completely frozen, unsure what to do. In all the months he had been coming on these trips into the forest, never once had he encountered another person. So it was a bit unnerving to think these trips that he had come to cherish for their solitude had not been as solitary as he had thought.

“… I've said something wrong,” Mitsuki murmured, hesitating a moment before getting to back to his feet. “I apologize for upsetting you. I won't trouble you again, Mahiro-sama.”

One thing to know the man in front of you is youkai, another thing entirely to witness him suddenly transforming into a wolf, one that quickly vanished into the forest. Of course the forest would have a wolf to watch over travelers, especially if stepping away from the road was truly as dangerous as the hushed stories said. But now he felt even more foolish. Watching over travelers was what spirit wolves _did_ , of course he had been watched. Mahiro didn't know why Mitsuki had decided to reveal himself … and now he probably wouldn't ever know, either, because of a silly misunderstanding.

“Next time, I'll bring meat,” he murmured as he left his usual offering of food, including the sweet bun he had intended to eat himself. He didn't really believe the wolf was still close enough to hear his promise, but Mitsuki had given the tree a name and the tree had heard him. He could hope it would be enough.

* * *

Much to Mahiro's annoyance, it was almost another month before he was able to escape his duties for another long ride into the forest. The roadside shrine looked clean but also somehow lonely, as if offerings hadn't been left in awhile.

“I brought something for Mitsuki-san,” Mahiro said as he pulled the small bento from his saddle pack.

No one stepped out of the trees, but then of course not. Wolves were pack animals and after the mess of their last meeting, well, Mitsuki had probably left watching over Mahiro to one of his pack mates. And that was completely fine, really. Mahiro hadn't even known Mitsuki existed until that meeting, so why should he care if the wolf wasn't watching over him any longer?

So why did it hurt to think the wolf wasn't watching over him? Mahiro shivered, glancing around the forest and pulling his haori closed a bit tighter. As empty as ever. Swallowing back a sigh, he showed proper deference to the shrine and then returned to his horse. Suddenly he didn't feel like being among these trees any longer.

Of course he couldn't have the good fortune of having his early return go unnoticed.

“You're back early,” Junji said with a careful impassivity that did not match the intensity in his gaze.

“Am I? Ah, strange, it felt longer than usual, not shorter.” Mahiro said with a casual indifference that would have worked on anyone else.

“Mahi….”

“I have a headache,” he said, trying to wave off Junji's concern.

“I'll bring tea to your rooms then.”

Mahiro tried to protest, but Junji was already halfway down the corridor. Smothering a sigh, he still went to his office first to collect some paperwork. The headache might have been a lie, but either way it was no excuse not to continue doing his work.

* * *

The restlessness caught even Mahiro by surprise, and only a few days later he was already making another trip into the forest. To his surprise, there was a figure at the shrine as he rounded the last bend. A figure he came to recognize as he dismounted to approach the shrine on foot. 

“We weren't expecting you back so soon,” Mitsuki murmured, head tilting to one side as he turned to give Mahiro an assessing look. “Something wrong?”

“I … I don't know, maybe,” Mahiro confessed, dropping his horse's reins. “Something in me needed to return.”

“Just … something? Nothing specific?”

Mahiro swallowed and forced his hands not to fidget. The way Mitsuki was looking at him, he felt terribly transparent and yet at a loss. Did the wolf think he was the reason Mahiro was back already?

 _Was_ he? Mahiro hadn't let himself think about it, but … something in him had unclenched at recognizing the spirit wolf. Something that was now vibrating in his chest for how close the wolf was standing. Just a little closer and….

Mitsuki's touch against his cheek was so warm, so gentle. Mahiro's eyes closed without his conscious consent as he leaned into that touch with a soul-deep sigh. Home. He felt a comfort he couldn't explain any other way. He was home.

“I missed you, too, Mahiro.”

Ridiculous. And yet when Mitsuki kissed him, it was like the raising of a floodgate. Mahiro couldn't control himself, stepping closer and throwing his arms around Mitsuki as he kissed him, hungry for more. He didn't care that this was selfish, improper. Kissing Mitsuki felt right like nothing he had ever done before in his life. And when he had to _stop_ , he caught himself whining in frustrated need.

“Are you really prepared to leave your entire life behind to be with me, Mahiro?”

“W-what? What are you saying?”

“I'm a spirit of the forest, Mahiro,” Mitsuki said, lightly caressing Mahiro's cheek. “I would die if I had to live in your world. I _do_ want to see you more, but I understand if it's too soon for you to stay with me.”

“I … no, I can't just walk away from my responsibilities so casually.”

“I understand,” the wolf said again, a sad smile on his lips. “But you can stay for awhile, ne?”

“Yeah, for awhile,” Mahiro agreed. “Not too long, but … a little while.”

“If you know how, one moment can feel like an eternity,” Mitsuki replied, something knowing in his smile.

“Oh? Well then, perhaps you can teach me this trick?”

“I can certainly try.”

Something in Mitsuki's smile was giving Mahiro a … decidedly curious feeling, like nervous jitters but pleasant. Another kiss and Mahiro knew he was going to have to find a way to make the most of his time with Mitsuki.

* * *

Mahiro jerked back at the sudden flick to his forehead, blinking back at Junji.

“What was that for?”

“You've been sighing heavily all morning,” Junji said, giving him a strange look.

“Oh, have I? I hadn't noticed,” Mahiro said.

“Of course you haven't,” Junji replied, finally giving up and shaking his head. “I don't think I've ever seen you like this, old friend. What's on your mind?”

Mahiro hesitated, reluctant to admit his mind hadn't been on his work. Or any of the other things that should have been occupying his mind. Something he had been catching himself doing more and more of late. 

“Whatever it is, Mahi, you can tell me, you know that, ne?”

And yet again he hesitated. He knew his best friend was trying to help, but Mahiro didn't know how to put what he was feeling into words even in his own mind, never mind words suitable for anyone else. And yet that earnest look on Junji's face … he knew he had to say something.

“Have you ever felt … like your life is in the wrong place?” he asked at last. “Like … you've done all the right things only to end up in the wrong story?”

“What do you mean?”

“I'm not sure,” he confessed with a sigh. “I just … feel like I'm being drawn somewhere. Like this … this isn't quite where I'm supposed to be.”

“Don't let your wife hear you say that,” Junji murmured, faintly disapproving.

“Why not? Pretty sure she's had similar thoughts,” Mahiro muttered, looking down at the ledger in front of him.

“Mahiro!”

“What? You know I'm right.”

His wife had been picked for him, a political match made by the emperor and nothing to do with Mahiro's wants or desires. He had, of course, done everything he could to be a proper husband to the woman, but he was under no illusions that they loved each other. Maybe he could have learned to love her if he had never met Mitsuki, but as things were now … the spirit wolf occupied more of his thoughts than was generally considered proper.

“So then where do you think you're supposed to be?” Junji asked.

“Not here,” Mahiro said, glancing out the window.

“Mahiro….”

He knew that note of concern. So he forced a smile and tried to turn his attention back to where it belonged.

“You don't have to be so worried, Juju. I know my place is here, taking care of the people of this province. Anyway, it's probably just the weather talking. You know how moody I get in the autumn rains.”

For a moment, Mahiro felt a flicker of guilt for lying so easily to his best friend. Junji was a good man, he deserved better. Perhaps Mahiro could arrange that for him while he was making his other arrangements.

* * *

Despite the winter snow laid over the land, Mahiro couldn't wait any longer. Slipping out of the castle while the sky was still too dark to be called even pre-dawn, he saddled his horse and made good his escape. He felt wild and reckless and unstoppable, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

Approaching the tiny roadside shrine at what he had come to think of as the heart of the forest, Mahiro dismounted with a huff of relief. Still dark, his lantern barely penetrating the darkness at all, but it was fine. He had traveled this road so many times now, he almost felt like he didn't need the light to find his way.

“Mahiro … you should not be here my love.”

“You once offered to take me away from my life, to keep me with you always,” Mahiro asked, suddenly feeling short of breath. “Did you mean it?”

What if he had misunderstood? What if Mitsuki had since changed his mind? What if he had just ruined everything?

“… are you sure this is what you want, my love?”

“I've tried to tell myself so many time to stop wanting it, but I can't,” Mahiro said, shaking his head. “I don't … I don't belong there any longer.”

“Mahiro….”

“My place is at your side, I'm sure of it now.”

For a silent moment, Mahiro was afraid he had gone too far, pushed too hard. The heavy sigh from Mitsuki didn't do anything to reassure him. Then strong arms folded around him, drew him in close to the youkai's chest.

“I had to ask. If you are truly sure, then let go.”

Closing his eyes, Mahiro took a deep breath. He was ready. A part of him had been ready for a long time now. He didn't have any regrets.

* * *

Junji was still pulling on his heavy winter juban when he heard the shriek from downstairs. He didn't bother with any of the usual formal layers, hair still loose as he rushed towards the screaming woman.

She had at least stopped screaming by the time he reached her, perhaps because, while the wolf was still standing outside the kitchen door, it wasn't going anything else. Junji frowned in confusion, watching as the animal just stood there for another moment, then sat down on its haunches, tilted its head back, and howled a mournful cry. That sound was enough to stop his breath in his throat.

“Mahiro … have you delivered his breakfast yet?”

“Of course not, haven't even made it,” the woman said. “But what does that…?”

“Who else in the household is likely to go for a ride into the forest?” Junji tossed back over his shoulder as he dashed back to the residential section of the castle.

He wanted to be surprised at the neat and empty state of Mahiro's rooms, but Junji rather thought his heart had known from the moment he had seen that wolf. No one else in the entire household was crazy enough to go for an early morning ride in the haunted forest. Collapsing at Mahiro's desk, he searched frantically for anything that might tell him what he was supposed to do next. The letter he found tucked away wasn't nearly as surprising as its contents, thought. Almost as if Mahiro had known for some time he was tempting fate with his rides. Especially when it turned out there were two letters, one for Junji alone and one to be shown to others as Mahiro's last will. The latter was all properly formal, with provisions for Mahiro's wife and a request that Junji be named his successor. Junji doubted that part would be honored, but he appreciated his friend's thoughtfulness. 

> _My dearest Junji, you have always been my most treasured friend, so I feel I must apologize for causing you the pain you must be feeling at reading this letter. I have never wanted to hurt you, but sometimes Fate has another path…._
> 
> _You always said I was too willful and now it seems as though perhaps you were right. I know I courted death in your eyes, but I have come to realize that I must live in my truth. To do otherwise is to not live at all…._
> 
> _I pray you will find it in your heart one day to forgive me._
> 
> _All my love, Kurosaki Mahiro_

Folding the letter meant for his eyes alone, Junji slipped it into his sleeve before taking a moment to dry his eyes. The whole house had to have heard that wolf's cry. Any further mourning of his friend would have to wait for later. He prayed his friend was now at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> folklore footnote: In Japanese folklore, wolves were the guardians of travelers and might come to a house if someone from that house died while on the road.
> 
> That said, I didn't tag this with character death because I don't believe Mahiro to be dead, just gone from the human world. Which is functionally the same thing, but not, so.


End file.
